Vatican City is just a shit Disneyland
The Vatican is just a shit Disneyland:
- both have endless queues
- both have problematic histories
- but at least Disneyland has rollercoasters
Let’s get this over with: The Sistine Chapel is one of the most awe inspiring pieces of art I’ve ever seen in my life.
BUT…
The 1000+ Ancient Greek, Roman and Egyptian statues with their…ahem…bits missing screams Freudian issues.
I know you want me to discuss the various Michelangelo, Francis Bacon, Matisse artworks stored in the Vatican vaults. But I’m here to tell you, if any of them had a little willy, the poor thing was snapped off.
Apparently, it was Pope Pius IX who ordered all manhoods to be removed because he deemed them “unholy”. He even had them stored in a secret “penis room” deep within The Vatican.
This might sound like I’m obsessed but after your 456th poor Roman eunuch you start to wonder “why are they so scared of the male body?” and “what do the Popes do in their their sad willy room?” and “is it somebody’s job polish them?”
Who knows…but what I do know is that I wouldn’t be thinking about this stupid stuff if the Vatican had a rollercoaster or two.