Up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up
See that bell tower? It’s called Giottos bell tower. It’s 278ft tall. We climbed it for some reason. All 414 steps, right to the very top. Something about “history”, and “stunning views”, and “exercise”. I’m not sure.
Anyhoo, here’s my inner monologue for every step we had to climb (with an accompanying photo!)
Steps 0-1.
It’s not that high up. I live in Sheffield for god’s sake! I’m used to climbing steep hills!
Steps 2-101.
I’m going to die. Are hearts meant to beat this fast?! I regret insisting on downing an extra large cappuccino and eating an entire cornetto before climbing this stupid thing.
Steps 103-155. Why do bells need to be in towers anyway? What’s wrong with just ringing them on the floor?
Steps 156 - 214. Wow. Florence is very pretty.
Steps 215 - 309. Florence is a stupid place with stupid people who have never heard of a goddamn elevator. This tower is not fit for purpose. There’s just one stupid staircase and everyone wiping their sweaty bodies on me as they push past. I could sipping Campari’s on the ground right now but noOoOoooo…
Steps 309 - 382. Why don’t the people on top of the Duomo look as exhausted as me? Do they have an elevator?! Okay, fine. I admit this is stunning. But it’s not worth it!
Steps 383 - 414. Okay. It’s totally worth it.